[22:30] IAMSpartacus117: You never come on aimmm.
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[22:30] IAMSpartacus117: I hate being confined to text messaging.
[22:31] IAMSpartacus117: I see you changed your top friends to... Justin.
[22:31] IAMSpartacus117: I'm glad you have a good relationship with your brother.
[22:31] IAMSpartacus117: No violence? You guys ever hit each other?
[22:33] IAMSpartacus117: I went to Walmart, and I was going to buy the same deodorant as you have. But then I smelled it and it smelled like you and I felt that it would be kind of weird if I suddenly began smelling like you. I thought I should let you keep your distinct smell. So I got a completely different kind.
[22:35] IAMSpartacus117: I'm sorry that I kept you from Wow most of the weekend. I didn't want to deprive you of it, I didn't ask you not to play. But I couldn't tell you that you should play because I knew I would be bored and I couldn't do that to myself. But you offered to put it aside, and even though I didn't want that to happen, I was grateful to not be bored.
[22:37] IAMSpartacus117: I don't mind if we never spend 66 hours with each other straight again. Not that I didn't enjoy it. But you're a bit of a bad influence. I come away swearing more, being more violent, being angry, irate, mean - so mean I was even mean to Isis when I got home. And I listen to more awful music.
[22:37] IAMSpartacus117: I prefer my kindness, nurturing nature and optimism.
[22:39] IAMSpartacus117: By the way, I'm going to return Bones. It has a hold on it and it's due Friday, I doubt we'll hang out before then and you're probably not that into it and I've already seen it.
[22:40] IAMSpartacus117: And I don't want a repeat of the CSI situation.
[22:43] IAMSpartacus117: You know, because I've been on the other side - watching the way you handle girls trying to be your friend or more, trying to talk to you and be around you - watching the way you ignore them, and not tell them to lay off, so they keep persisting... even seeing how you feel about Andrew and Jon, I really feel like every single time I talk to you and you don't respond, that I'm automatically a stalker.
[22:43] IAMSpartacus117: I feel like I should have got the picture that you didn't want to talk before I even sent the text message or in this case an IM. And that I'm a huge annoyanc.
[22:43] IAMSpartacus117: e
[22:44] IAMSpartacus117: that's why I sent 20 text messages the Saturday before last.
[22:44] IAMSpartacus117: Because I figured if I felt like a obnoxious stalker at one text message, I might as well say all that I have to say and send 20.
[22:45] IAMSpartacus117: That feeling. Is like the six biggest stress in my life.
[22:45] IAMSpartacus117: at the moment.
[22:46] IAMSpartacus117: Actually, it's probably the fourth or the fifth, depending on how you look at it.
[22:48] IAMSpartacus117: Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks, for letting me come this weekend. It was probably hard, having me there almost every second. Even if it was in exchange for letting you feel me up.
[22:51] IAMSpartacus117: And I want to know how you feel. About this situation we're in.
[22:52] IAMSpartacus117: I didn't think that we would have sex, until we were ready. We're both shy, so shy we haven't even kissed, which is kind of ridiculous. But you not bringing condoms makes me think that you feel that it's not even a possibility that we could have sex.
[22:52] IAMSpartacus117: And if you feel that way I want you to tell me.
[22:53] IAMSpartacus117: I don't know what we are. I hesitate to call us friends, because you have been the shittiest, most unreliable, most selfish friend I have almost ever had.
[22:56] IAMSpartacus117: And as soon as we saw each other at Andrew's party we went skinny dipping and spooned in the tent. I didn't think I could even expect friendship at that point, so it was easier to depend on attraction. I haven't been able to trust you at all, being friends with you has been complete torture. I know now that just because I'm enjoying things doesn't mean that you're enjoying them too. And I also know that when you're not enjoying them, you won't tell me. So at any given time, you could be miserable and I just will never know. Since you've never been enthusiastic about being my friend - more the opposite - I'm left to assume that you're not enjoying my company very much and that you just won't tell me when you're bored or annoyed.
[22:56] IAMSpartacus117: Not that I'm thinking that when I'm around you, more like I think it when you don't answer me back for a few days.
[23:00] IAMSpartacus117: I can hardly call us friends. You've been friendly with me the past month, but that means nothing because you've been friendly with me in the past and look where it got us.
[23:00] IAMSpartacus117: I can't call us friends with benefits. Because you don't seem to realistically want sex to happen.
[23:01] IAMSpartacus117: And we've never talked with each other about a romantic relationship.. cause you're obsessed with Liz.
[23:01] IAMSpartacus117: So I'd like to think that I could refrain from naming whatever it is.
[23:02] IAMSpartacus117: "It's complicated" on Facebook relationship status.
[23:02] IAMSpartacus117: I'm just so goal-oriented.
[23:03] IAMSpartacus117: I want to know if I can ask you to hang out. Because I can't do that if we aren't friends. I want to know if I can kiss you, because I can't do that unless we're friends with benefits. I want to know if I can use any of the condoms I bought today with you, or if I should save them for somebody else.
[23:04] IAMSpartacus117: Does it bother you having sex with someone you're not romantically interested in? Most people assume that guys are okay with it, since like 90% of them are. But since you've never had sex with anybody but Liz, I can't really tell if you care or not.
[23:07] IAMSpartacus117: I guess, what I'm trying to say, and you better have gotten all of this, and read it... is that I'd appreciate the slightest bit of communication. I just want a little bit of clarification. I'm laidback - even if I'm task/goal oriented. I go out of my way to want to be friends with you and more, but that's just it, I'm pretty much up for anything. You're the one who gets annoyed, who wants to be alone, who wants to be stuck on Liz, who wants to not have any friends, who wants to not chat and communicate.
[23:07] IAMSpartacus117: So you hold all the cards. You're the one who's hard to please.
[23:08] IAMSpartacus117: I just have to know what you're thinking... you sleep and cuddle with me, you say you'll have sex with me, you spend time with me. But I don't know what any of that means to you. I don't know if there's any rhyme or reason. I don't know if you enjoy it or you're apathetic about it or it borderline annoys you.
[23:11] IAMSpartacus117: I'm extremely agreeable. And I don't ask a lot. But I can't cater to your needs or your wants if you don't express them. I can't give you space if you don't tell me you want it. I can't make a move if you don't tell me you want it. I don't expect a lot of you. I've really only expected you to fulfill my lust this past month, which you have yet to do. And even when it comes to sex I expect very little. I actually expect nothing. I'm interested in seeing what it's like - not interested in having a preplanned situation.
[23:12] IAMSpartacus117: Maybe you're used to putting in zero effort in your friendships.
[23:18] IAMSpartacus117: For the record, I've felt closer to you since that Sunday we went out with Andrew and Justin. More than I ever have. I feel like I know you better and I feel more comfortable in your presence. And on Saturday when you were playing Wow and I was doing Sudoku, being mad at you, and you were randomly chatting and being annoying... that made me elated. I was happy that you felt comfortable enough with me to randomly chat and be annoying. Something that you have never done in the entire time that I've met you. Seriously. Aside from being disappointed that you didn't want to have sex, I wasn't annoyed at all with your random chatting.
[23:20] IAMSpartacus117: Thanks for all the massages, by the way. :) They felt nice.
[23:21] IAMSpartacus117: bye.
[23:22] IAMSpartacus117: don't hate me for writing all this. and you should know that if you DON'T read it, I will kill you.


he's in such a habit of not putting any effort into making a friendship or a relationship with anybody but Liz.