Ohhh my goood. Yes, Oh my good. Oh my goodness works too.

I can't do this...

I like James. He's awesome to be around and sexy and he makes me laugh obsessively. But it's so exhausting to get anything from him. And nothing will happen if I don't try.

I made him drink alcohol yesterday. But then instead of doing anything fun, we played Go Fish. Not that it wasn't fun. But I mean, we spooned all night and that was nice but I kind of feel like if I can't even get anything out of him with alcohol - which we didn't have much at all, but we had more than usual cause I don't drink and I'm rarely around alcohol - it's like we're fucked now. We did go skinny dipping, without any alcoholic incentive. Well, James had one Mike's Hard but I doubt that helped any. But

Ugh. It was nice, to have Andrew's party, to be able to see James.. without all this trying. And I miss him so much when he's gone. I asked him why he didn't talk to me for 9 months about 15 times. But I don't think he really knows why he's like that. He's not trying to be an asshole, he's just reserved and shy and has those kind of issues. I know how they feel..

Maybe I'm just stressing over this because I had 4 hours of sleep. I should nap, if I can relax.