I just had the best dream. It felt really good. Instead of the dream being realistic, I think it was catered by my imagination. Meaning, everything suited me. It was how it would be if I created it, which, in this case, I did.

So it was about Michigan, I went to visit Dan. And now that I think about it this part is kind of weird. I came with a friend, she was going to go her own way once we got there, we only traveled together. I think we came on a train, but it might have been a plane. I only remember the station. And then we went to the store to get some food, I think I remember a bag of chips, but this is with Dan. I wanted to buy my bag of chips but I put it with his stuff because I only had a couple five dollar bills, and I couldn't figure out why I'd traveled with only this much money!

But you see, in real life, that's how much is in my wallet at the moment, so it was almost like if I woke up today at a Michigan train station with my purse that's how it would be. And there were also a couple more annoying things... I had forgotten my razor and I wanted to shave. And I had forgotten my makeup. Although I had make up on at the moment, it would come off within a day and I didn't have anything to reapply it. Razors are easy to get. And I suppose, now that I think about it, I could buy some cheap make up. But usually make up is expensive-ish. Because there are so many pieces and they all cost $5-10 each. But I was just going to cross that bridge once it came. I was mostly thinking about buying a razor.

Something weird happened on the way to his apartment. I don't quite remember. It was like we were up on a hill and the cars went by. It reminds me of the dream I had earlier but I can't remember what it was about anyway. I met one of Dan's friends. She was a girl, so it was one of those, should I be jealous? moments. My friend was still with us and I said something stupid about the cars driving by or the people or something that was going on. It seemed like a paranoid-ish statement. I only vaguely remember that part.

Gosh, now that I think about it, this reminds me of my NYC trip!!! Only I brought money that time. And my razor and make up. :) But the apartment, since I think Dan is in a house not an apartment. And the shopping reminded me of being with hmm that 40 yr old black guy who Kristen is crushing on. He is the one who took us to Chinatown. It reminded me of being with him. And even though I don't always say dumb things, something I feel a little self-conscious about what I've said. With particular people I always manage to say something dumb, but with Kristen's aunt and her friends I think it's mostly that I felt that my statements were lacking any dazzling quality. Although I did make what'shisface laugh.

Anyway, we went to his apartment and there were lots of random people outside. Almost like relatives but I felt like they were Spanish so they probably weren't Dan's relatives. I met his mom. She looked very familiar but I don't know why. And now that I think about it there were no kids. Hmm. Not a one. Not even a mention of where they were. That would only be my dream fantasy. I know that Jen was mentioned, if only in my head. His mom said something to me and him, in a bit of a warning about jumping into things too fast, and I wondered if she thought of Jen and him jumping into things too fast and it not working out.

The apartment was beautiful. A bit elegant and the windows let a lot of light in. It was a couple stories up and there was a small balcony. It was small, when you think about it, but that wasn't in my first impression, because small doesn't matter as long as it's comfortable and beautiful. Which it was. The Christmas tree was still up and it was on a stand with wheels, I thought that was interesting. I didn't see the kitchen or the bedroom, yet. I think his mom was asking me something about advertisements and using it as a metaphor. Essentially, she was giving advice but I'm not sure I quite understood it in the dream so I definitely don't understand it now, I don't even remember it.

Dan told everybody they had to leave or at least go outside because he needed to ask me something. It took a few minutes to get everybody out. His mom especially. She seemed to come back in and dawdle. It's not that she didn't like me, she was kind, she just managed to get herself involved and be kind of nosy as mother's kind of can be. She was harmless. Seemingly, the only one-on-one experience between Dan and I was at the moment before his mom left. When we were sitting pretty close and we looked at each other in the face and I wondered what it would be like to kiss him for the first time.

Then he disappeared, and I was waiting for him. And thinking about my razor and makeup situation. And I went to the balcony and don't ask me how this happened but I flew away on some firewood. (On my balcony there's firewood so this made sense even though there didn't seem to be a fireplace in the house, although that would have suited me, to make it more comfortable and cozy.) So I traveled in the valley and I realized that the terrain was pretty wild, that the people who had built the buildings were pretty brave. This wasn't so much a city as a city squished inside a narrow valley. The mountains weren't sharp like the rockies, they were more like the andes mountains, more on the round side at the top and covered with trees, although they seemed to be the kind of trees covering the rockies. The rockies are often snow-capped though and these weren't even though there was a little bit of snow on the ground.

When I first looked out the window I remarked that it was nice, but not as beautiful as New York. And then as I flew, I realized it was pretty, but not as pretty as Columbia, even though it reminded me a bit of Bogota. Bogota is a lot more amazing. But I was paying Michigan a compliment here, even though I'm betting it does not look like it did in my dream. It's hard to explain, cause I had a bird's eye view. I walked back though, cause now that it came to flying I wasn't so sure I could make it happen. Dan had come out but he didn't say anything to me until after he'd passed and then he shouted back "firewood."

I climbed up a rickety ladder to the balcony. And then I guess I sat and thought about what I'd say once he proposed. And I wondered if it would be a "will you marry me?" simply... or if it would be a "will you wear my ring?" type of thing. Because Dan seems like the former. But in this dream Dan did not seem like Dan at all. He was quiet. Some people would call it dark and brooding, but it wasn't so much a negative quality as it was merely a mysterious quality. Like I said, we had no contact the whole dream, it was kind of weird.

I also wondered what I was going to say to it. I think that I planned to say yes, but even though I was very sure that I loved him, it's hard to settle into having a fiance when you're not even really able to get married. I feel so young still, not independent. I thought of Shannon and Nick. Even though I really thought of it as Shannon and Jon, but it was Nick who gave her a ring and proposed to her, when she was 16. People in America who do that, do not work out. You propose when you're ready and able, otherwise time does weird things to you. There would be less divorces if couples gave each other time, instead of rushing into a marriage that will break apart in a couple years. Nick and Shannon broke up too. It may have surprised them, but they were the only ones it surprised.

So I planned to let Dan know that even though that was the direction I was heading towards, specifically because he was asking. As in, Now that you've brought the topic up I have to say something positive instead of just ignoring the idea because it didn't yet fit into my dependent-on-my-parents reality. So I was going to tell him that if it didn't work out, we wouldn't dwell on it. It wouldn't be like HE LEFT ME FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE CEREMONY. We would just accept that it didn't work out.

But I didn't get to tell him that cause I woke up.

And now I've remembered one of my other dreams. It was about my house, and I suppose I was having a party because lots of people were crawling all over my house, only they were really walking and standing. So I should say that my house was crawling with young strangers. Actually I knew a couple from high school. Dave what'shislastname..... I know it begins with an L. C'mon! I had a crush on this guy for two obsessive years! Larkin. lol. I know it had an La in it. Anyway, he was there and he'd left his phone on the counter so I opened it up and snooped. Nothing fun there.

And then Mike turned up. It wasn't hostile but it wasn't friendly. He merely asked for his stuff back. As if when we broke up we silently kept each other's stuff and didn't say anything. Except, in real life I think the only thing I kept was his harry potter book. And he kept my roller blades. I don't think there was anything else. :p but in the dream there was a bunch of stuff at the bottom of my closet. We didn't ask for it back because we hadn't wanted to talk so that's why him asking now was unhostile.

I wondered if we would get physically close. It's like, when your body is so comfortable with someone else's body you fall back into that groove because it's so easy and it feels so good. I can imagine that that's one of the reasons why old couples sometimes randomly have sex. Even though they're not emotionally at a place where they can get together again, it's just so easy to do something that's so familiar to them, instead of try to form that bond anew, with a stranger.

So actually we did press ourselves against each other. I don't think we were kissing, maybe we were hugging. And he became hard, because that's just what it was like while we were dating. Always molded together with him always hard. Good times, actually.

And I remember telling him something specific about his stuff. Because he seemed to ask for "our" stuff. Almost like when you're married and you buy stuff together. I said that there was no "our" stuff, only his stuff and my stuff.

And I think that's about the end of the dream.

So lots of dreams about exes. I'm still kind of in a daze over the one about Dan. I still kind of feel like I'm there, as far as the setting is concerned. I don't feel like I'm in my own house. But I'm going back to sleep. I've slept since 8pm last night, but for some reason college is exhausting me this year. Not the work, just something about the two days that I spend there, it's making me very exhausted and all I wanted to do is sleep for a long time.


Ring around the suuuun, we're having lots of fuuuun, laaughing, plaaying, we all jump doooown.

Okay, that's what my mom made up to replace ring around the posie, because that song is morbid. So it's the same concept, holding hands and going around in a circle and then falling down.