[02:15] BizZyTheKiD1030: well what are you thinking about
[02:15] IAMSpartacus117: I'm thinking about the fact that even though I want "a doll" i would sacrifice many things for love.
[02:16] IAMSpartacus117: in general, I have a doll in mind, but I don't think it will actually hinder my ever having a good relationship.
[02:16] BizZyTheKiD1030: and who would that doll be
[02:16] IAMSpartacus117: I don't know any good dolls at the moment.
[02:17] BizZyTheKiD1030: well you said you had one in mind
[02:17] IAMSpartacus117: in theory.
[02:17] BizZyTheKiD1030: ah
[02:17] IAMSpartacus117: In my fantasies I hope for someone to play with who is devoid of consciousness.
[02:17] IAMSpartacus117: as Mike somewhat was.
[02:18] BizZyTheKiD1030: an ugly kid with an over under bite?
[02:18] IAMSpartacus117: he has a very sexy body, for the record.
[02:18] IAMSpartacus117: I'm sure you've seen it since he loves showing it off.
[02:19] IAMSpartacus117: it didn't help our sex life any, unfortunately.
[02:19] BizZyTheKiD1030: well thats too bad huh
[02:19] IAMSpartacus117: yes
[02:20] IAMSpartacus117: personality matters more than looks, it seems.
[02:22] BizZyTheKiD1030: yea, it does.
[02:23] IAMSpartacus117: so whats on your mind?
[02:23] BizZyTheKiD1030: im trying to picture what a relationship would be like with you
[02:24] IAMSpartacus117: and what do you imagine?
[02:26] BizZyTheKiD1030: its foggy
[02:26] IAMSpartacus117: oh
[02:28] BizZyTheKiD1030: I do see alot of good sex though
[02:29] IAMSpartacus117: ha
[02:29] BizZyTheKiD1030: j/k
[02:29] BizZyTheKiD1030: though it would be better then Mike
[02:30] IAMSpartacus117: I'm very shy, reserved and vain when it comes to sex. it's not really a good combination.
[02:31] BizZyTheKiD1030: you would have such better sex if you were more comfortable
[02:31] IAMSpartacus117: yes. I sometimes wonder what kind of sex I'd have if I was a bit drunk.
[02:32] IAMSpartacus117: but truth be told, it's not me who has to be drunk, it's him. I'm too intimidated by another's consciousness so if his was lessened I'd be alright.
[02:33] IAMSpartacus117: I would have much more fun if I could tell myself he won't remember it in the morning, although if it was any good it would be sad if he couldn't remember it.
[02:33] BizZyTheKiD1030: alright so how about this, we both get plastered and forget everything from there?
[02:33] IAMSpartacus117: tempting.
[02:34] BizZyTheKiD1030: is it
[02:34] IAMSpartacus117: the idea of letting all my inhibitions go? Yes.
[02:34] BizZyTheKiD1030: you might as well have fun while you can
[02:34] BizZyTheKiD1030: in all seriousness now
[02:35] BizZyTheKiD1030: i understand that your a very smart girl, and well educated, and i really, am not. and you like to be serious and have things in your control, but thats no fun
[02:36] BizZyTheKiD1030: im smart, just in different ways then you are
[02:36] BizZyTheKiD1030: though that doesnt help me be intimidated when im talking to you but thats besides the point
[02:36] BizZyTheKiD1030: i think you should have as much fun now as you can
[02:36] BizZyTheKiD1030: now that doesnt mean drink and do drugs
[02:36] BizZyTheKiD1030: but to just let your self go sometimes
[02:37] BizZyTheKiD1030: yea..
[02:37] BizZyTheKiD1030: thats my half assed advice
[02:37] BizZyTheKiD1030: enjoy.
[02:37] IAMSpartacus117: I bet you tell that to all the girls to get them in bed.
[02:37] BizZyTheKiD1030: no, no i really dont, and im not trying to get you in bed
[02:37] BizZyTheKiD1030: im just telling you my honest opinion
[02:38] IAMSpartacus117: well I appreciate it but truth be told, fun isn't the goal for everybody.
[02:38] IAMSpartacus117: fun is overrated. fun is a face for so much more meaning.
[02:38] IAMSpartacus117: I like to bypass fun and search for what really means something to me and why it does.
[02:38] BizZyTheKiD1030: i do that later
[02:39] BizZyTheKiD1030: though im still goal oriented
[02:39] BizZyTheKiD1030: im still a Kid
[02:39] BizZyTheKiD1030: at least for another year or so
[02:39] IAMSpartacus117: I didn't have a lot of fun. at least it wasn't satisfying. I wanted more and I wanted to learn about the things that would sometimes keep me form having fun.
[02:40] IAMSpartacus117: I think to truly enjoy life you have to discover yourself. and that's what I do.
[02:40] IAMSpartacus117: Not to say that I don't have fun now. my fun is just not typical fun. I get enjoyment out of a lot of various things, they're just deeper and more personal enjoyment. not the typical "fun" things that people do. I see little sense in those things.
[02:41] IAMSpartacus117: it's like I don't need a party to have a good time. I don't need the excuse of circumstance to enjoy myself.
[02:41] BizZyTheKiD1030: yea, i can understand where your coming from
[02:42] BizZyTheKiD1030: i just do the more typical
[02:42] IAMSpartacus117: I can be entirely blissfully happy and satisfied at any time and any place, regardless of the outer circumstances.