My nipples hurt so bad. Shrivel up and die already.

I've been playing with Isis. All in a rush. Amelia and I were doing all these things with her. Running around playing tag (Amelia was leading her but she was doing all the leg work, even if she didn't understand why sometimes she was the huntress and sometimes she was the hunted.) And we played Hide & Seek. I hid behind my door and behind my mom's door and behind my dad's door and in my dad's closet and in my closet. And I would roar to give her hints of where I was. It was a lot funner than it sounds because of her reactions. And we have a huge box from the bathtub we got that Isis and I love to crawl into but today we put it up against the couch and made it a slide. Because it's very chilly outside.

So we've been playing non stop. At one point my mom was standing there looking at us and it was such a "I don't approve" look. She didn't say anything but the look was there. Perhaps she felt it was too wild to be a part of cause usually she comes out and laughs with Isis but I guess those are at much calmer times.

Anyway, Isis is down now. My nipples burn.

John told me that he took me off like 2 weeks ago as a part of "a process." Apparently it's like taking baby steps. He explained to Lyla that him and I talk about good things [that don't involve love or sex] which isn't true at all, but in any case she approved of him talking to me on aim but apparently not myspace.

I can see why she would be upset at his interaction with me. But if he really cared about her opinion, maybe he shouldn't have fingered me and betrayed her trust. Even though she never trusted him in the first place.

I don't really have a problem with her. I just have a problem with being second, so to speak. Him saying, I can only be your friend if someone else approves, makes me want to say, WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T APPROVE!!!!!!!!!!

So, I canceled the friend request, because he said he would have to wait to ask Lyla. And I also blocked him on aim. Just till I cool off. He won't even notice, he'll think I'm signed off but whatever, it makes me feel good.