If it's at all possible, I'm going to drop French. Oui, I'm definitely and officially against the class. And I no longer wish to submit myself to that which I don't enjoy. Rather, I have no good reason to. And I see no productiveness in staying, only irritation. Apparently, it's important for me to learn French. But also, apparently, it's not worthwhile to do it in this atmosphere.

Now, I don't want to get my hopes up and then have to stay in the class because of some dumb technicality... But with good fortune, I'll be able to drop it.

My teacher was really grumpy today and we met walking in the hall towards class, so she asked me why I had failed to take the test on Monday. And then she told me to hang back and talk to her, so I did an abrupt about-face and walked at her pace. I was very pleasant, to be sure. But she apparently wanted to take her pas mal day out on me. So she asked why I hadn't emailed her and by George, it had completely slipped my mind. I remember even thinking that if I ended up missing a Forensic Science class it would behoove me to call the professor. But I didn't even bother to inform the other three on Monday, cause it simply slipped my mind. If it hadn't slipped my mind, even if I hadn't wanted to do it, it would have given me guilt so much so that I would have at least thought of it repeatedly. But it didn't occur to me until she suggested it after the fact.

So I told her about being with Isis. She didn't really seem to like it. A little snotty about it, I think. Like her French test was more important than my precious, coveted niece. And that, I disagree with, naturally. So I walked in the classroom before her and walked to my desk and set my bag down. And she got huffy because she was in the middle of telling me about where I would make up the test so it was apparently rude for me to turn my back on her. But we were talking and walking and I didn't intend to walk backwards nor stop at the door and have a little chat when my ears didn't seem to mind listening either backwards or forwards.

So she actually told me in a monotone voice, almost like I didn't realize her point until the end of the sentence because I couldn't detect anything in the tone... that it was rude for me to turn my back on her and such. And I was like um "okaaaay, I'm just setting down my bag." The fire didn't burn in me, as when I'm myself huffy... I was honestly pretty agreeable so I didn't predict the answer, nor could I even properly reply in a self-righteous tone. I think she realized it was unmerited because she left to make copies of the homework and when she came back she didn't have the same hostility towards me. Although when she asked me why I hadn't done the lab thing she looked at me with hostile eyes. And that was it.

All through class I kept going over it in my mind so that it made me hostile, so by the time class ended she asked in a pleasant tone, as I had given her in the very first place, if I even cared about my test. And all my replies were short, curt, and angry. We switched places.

Apparently there is some slight resistance to dropping out of the class... within myself and possibly with the school. But I'm so for it. There isn't a single agreeable thing about the class.

There's lots of boring homework.
The tests suck and it's unrewarding to get Bs.
She harasses us in class to answer her questions, even when we refuse. And I don't think it should be her decision what comes out of my damn mouth, whenever she pleases.
She's obviously old-fashioned in her ideas of authority dominating over children. Which I disagree with.
We have to spend the whole period reciting on cue the answers to her questions, which is tiresome and it invades my much needed personal space.
Her tests are at inappropriate times. Isis's birthday and Halloween.
And I feel a personal resistance to even learning the subject because I'm being pressured in ways that I won't conform to.

All in all. The homework sucks. The class period sucks. The teacher sucks. The tests suck. The timing sucks. And the subject matter sucks, when taught in that manner. I am passionate about French... but I've already done two years of it in high school. Just like this. It's fruitless. And it's an elective. I chose this particular class.

And every time I have a resolve to enjoy it, the same things keep bogging me down. In the past, regardless of the small problems I've had, except at the end of the semester with Figure Drawing, I haven't wanted to stop any of my classes. I could rationally accept what was given to me within my classes. But I feel a lot of resistance this time. And I'm so eager to get it out of the way. Dropping out would be a blessing.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Blak. We'll see.