This is nice. I feel good. Renewing past friendships. I got on MSN for the first time in ages and Serigo IMed me. And I was all telling myself "this is okay, no problem, he lives in Colombia, he's not threat." But then he said he was coming to NYC in July and would I come have a cup of coffee with him. Truth is, I don't know if it's worth the three hour drive to NYC for a cup of coffee, and aside from that, 18 yr olds can't drive in NYC, I think. Or maybe they can. I think you have to be 21. Aside from that, I really don't want to see him. He probed a lot. It made me very uncomfortable. Harry didn't, so I found him charming.

I was hoping Harry would be coming with him but it's for work.

And then, ironically, Monica came over. She's his aunt, the one I stayed with in Colombia. Sadly, she didn't bring Maria. :( Very sad. I miss her. But I hadn't seen Monica for three years. She was a bustle. But I like her. Very forthright with her personality. Doesn't stop to wonder if she's crossing any boundaries. Not that she's controversial. Just very warm and friendly. But it kind of made me bold too. Not much, but enough. Because the thing is, I'm usually shy because I don't know if I'M crossing boundaries, you know? You're hesitant because you want to anticipate how they'll take it. It's conscientious, but a huge hindrance. And since I already knew how she would take it by the way she was treating me, I didn't have to really worry. But she's pretty intense. Hard to explain, you'd just have to be there.

She brought Pablo, but we didn't have much to say. He totally looks like a Hispanic Tom Hanks. Not joking. It's weird cause I just found my Donkey Kong in the basement and that's what Pablo and I kept doing when I was in Colombia, playing Donkey Kong.

So then, Kayla IMed me on MSN too. I haven't talked to her for a year. She was my best friend in 7th grade. But we weren't friends in 8th grade and then I moved. It's interesting that she talks to me like we're best friends now. When I said that I might move out she said that I should move back to Utah. And she gave me her cell phone number. So I gave her mine. And she texted me a pic of herself.

Then today, I was so inspired by the conversations between Frank and I. They were epic. lol. And so sad too. Like lost lovers. He has SO much personality. It's awesome. I just couldn't resist, I had to try to contact him. It's not really serious, just touching. All love can seem epic when it's often not, no matter how big or small. I just miss his personality.

And I wanted to talk to Felix and Shawn again too. But Shawn seemed to be the only one who still has his name. So now I'm talking to him. Felix talked to me last year but we were fighting over something dumb. I found Frank online, but I haven't added him yet. I just want to get a taste of his personality. Like five seconds of him is a half an hour of talking to someone else. Shawn says he's in Germany for the summer, cause he has family there. Something Frank never told me. But I never told him I have family in Denmark so..

Anyway, I've been talking to Shawn for a couple hours. It's nice and friendly. I kind of feel good about it. I'm interested in talking to people who I used to talk to, now that my personality is different. I'm a bit more good natured and I'm trying to curb the annoyance. And it's kind of lame to make friends with all my old friends, I do want new friends. But I kind of feel like I made a statement with my old friends and lovers, you know? And it seems like a good idea to make it right with the old friends.

Like I'm rewriting my statements. It seems easiest. Shawn is taking to it well. Which is nice. I don't know how the others will take it. I could write the wrong with Garland, I suppose. Or Steve. Just as long as they still know I'm not going to make out with them...

Anyway, we'll see how it goes.