I've realized that there's a distinction between trying to manipulate the situation, and expressing the truth of the situation. I mean, the truth is, it makes me angry and hurt when he doesn't respond. Right? But I don't like being forthright about that, so instead, I use my emotions to manipulate the situation - such as acting like I don't care, or ignoring him, or whatever it is that I do in order to get a response, the response that I'm looking for. That's manipulation. That's me trying to force him to respond so that I can get what will appease the initial anger and hurt.

That's what's wrong. But I also can't deny how I feel. I need to express how I feel. Express it to him, because while I should not presume to believe that I have the right to tell him how to act, I do have the right to express how his actions make me feel. I have to stop expecting to make him do what I want him to do without letting him know that I want him to do it, and why.

I also have to express it to myself. Instead of trying to manipulate the external situation to appease my emotions I have to let them be expressed so that I know how I feel, instead of try to manipulate the emotions or hide them or suppress them or appease them, I have to let them run their course so that I can understand where they're coming from. Then I can RESOLVE what I would otherwise merely appease for the time being.