Ah, it's awesome getting out. Home is where the heart is. And that's precisely why it feels good to get out and about. Of course, all I've had this far is five minutes of my composition class. And then I spent $500 on college books that were not fun to hold for 15 minutes. But every time I get in my car and drive I feel great. I love driving alone. I love leaving based on my own decision and well that about sums it up, I love making my own decisions. I love not having to debate my decisions with anyone other than myself.

And I like dressing up and being seen by people. I know it sounds strange. To say that I like being seen by people and not to see people. But I do like to be seen by people. It's kind of a confidence boost. :) And maybe I like seeing other people a tiny itty bitty bit. But it's mostly about being seen.

Homework is a little iffy but I have plenty of time. I didn't have much homework last semester. Either college is really easy or community college is really easy. I can't know until I transfer.

I think Lyla was at the library when I went. I know that Nicole was and Nicole probably doesn't hang out with anybody except Lyla and Kayla. And Kayla doesn't seem to frequent the library the way Lyla does. But I could only see Nicole so I don't know who she was with...

Amelia won't wake Isis up so I can say hello to her before I go back for another class.

I have butterflies in my stomach. I told Amelia about the situation with John and it put a downer on my mood. Not that Amelia makes me happy either. Or maybe I was already down. I have to wait until tonight to get Painshop Pro back and I wanted to edit pictures. And before that Amelia reminded me that I can't wake up Isis because blah blah blah. I think that's what put me down. I don't know. I just know that I was really happy and now I feel kind of empty. But in a half an hour I get to go back on the road again. And hopefully that will brighten my heart again.

October. hmm. I can't wait until the third season of Veronica Mars comes out on DVD.

Okay fine. I like to relate to tv shows, I like to lose myself in the character's lives. I'm pathetic. Go away.

Amelia told me the other day that my entire life is about movies. Of course it's not. And she was wrong, I have had a lot of experience. But I guess when it comes to human interaction, I like to watch it more than I like to experience it. I guess I don't really get along with people. Meaning, I don't bond with them the way TV characters bond with each other.

I don't know. Life is different than TV. I guess that's simply what it is. It's not that I replace my life with TV characters' lives. It's that I enjoy movie script interaction. I enjoy the life purposes that some of the TV character's have. I live what I can't live in real life vicariously through characters.

I have my own life. But sometimes it's not as satisfying as I feel when I watch particular shows. I tried to say that specifically so that I didn't articulate that it was more satisfying to watch the show than to live my life. It's not. It's that relating to the characters can be more satisfying than my life.

It's not a foreign concept. Humans like stories. They like books, movies, tv shows, tall tales, ghost stories, songs etc.

So I'm really only defending myself to Amelia who won't ever read this. *sigh*.