I don't know what to be for Halloween. Amelia wants Isis to be a lady bug.

I wasn't sure, in the beginning, if there was anyone in the school to make friends with. I just don't know how to go about it... I mean, I know what it's like to go to school for a few months and have so little come out of it.

And then the second day of one of my days of classes... if that makes sense, I had a little bit more hope for my classes and some of the people in it.

And then the third day of those classes, both of the guys who had previously talked to me ignored me and I can only think of two explanations, either they aren't interested in talking to me, or they want to be assured that I'm interested in talking to them before they further talk to me. I'm telling you, I send out weird signals.

I tried to be really friendly that second day of classes and I thought I was successful!

And along with both guys I kind of talked to a couple girls. But to be honest, I'm not interested in making friends with girls. I'm not just looking for guys as boyfriends, although the guy from my Sociology class is soo sexy... but I like having friends who are guys.

I don't know why I don't care about friends anymore. They're kind of irrelevant to me. Like I don't need companionship all that much. But I like to flirt and I like to impress people and I like to receive flattery - even if I make up a lot of it. I guess that's why it's easy for me to cross the line with guys who have girlfriends. Because even if I'm not interested in them or having a relationship with them, I'll still flirt and try to impress them and enjoy receiving flattery from them. Damnet, just like Shannon..

All girls talk about is boys anyway. I hate that shit. I like to talk about guys with guys, that's the best.

So the point is, boys have bonuses, even as friends. Girls are pretty much useless to me and I always compare myself to them so they're essentially threatening or I have to deal with their insecurities because they're not threatening. It's not fun to be with a friend who thinks you're prettier than her. And it's not fun to be that girl.

I'm such a cliche in this situation. But it's not the worst cliche to be, if I have to choose a couple...

Hope isn't all lost. I'm smart and sexy and witty.. I just don't know if my college has the right circumstances to bond with anyone. That's why I wish I had a sign on my forehead that had the URL to my myspace. Cause it's a lot easier to bond with people on myspace or aim than in a class or during one random conversation.

:(