So the question is, do I come home between all my breaks? For instance, today, I have a class at 2. It'll probably only be an hour to a half an hour long. And then I don't have another class until 6. But you know what? Often on the first day, they just give you a run down of the expectations and then they send you home. So I might only be at the first class for a half an hour.

Well, if that's so then I am definitely coming home. I think it takes about 15 minutes to get there. 15 minutes to get back. That gives me an hour or so in between to see Isis or whatnot. On Monday and Wed my gaps are pretty small. On Thursday it's the same two hour gap.

I just had a dream that I went to my first class. And I was talking to Jeremiah about my Greek class. I was wondering why I would have two languages, unless the Greek class was Greek history, or possible Greek literature. I think he had the Greek class too and he told me that we should quit because it was too hard. Or maybe not just hard but boring. Anyway, I was trying to convince him to stay in the class and I told him we could study together and stuff...

He was still disagreeing with me when Isis banged on my door. :) So I got up, checked my schedule because I was suspicious about the Greek class, didn't remember it. Found out it was really there and when I opened the door, the woman Mariam who is staying with us and was babysitting Isis while my mom took my car to the inspection... was holding her. And then I reawoke. Cause that was really a dream. So I went to say hi to Isis for real. And my schedule doesn't have any Greek class.

I had another lucid dream yesterday too. It was really short though. I figured out it was a dream and then woke myself up. I think that's it.

I think I had a lot of dreams last night but I've forgotten them. My dreams are lame when I can't explain them and I just sit here not making sense. The other night I had like five dreams and I kept waking up after each one. It's weird, it's like I dream and then once it's over I wake up. I seriously woke up after every single dream and sometimes in the middle of the dream, all in one night. It was annoying. I think I still kind of do it, but not as many times a night. I wake up in the middle of the night for various reasons. I don't know.

I told James yesterday about how he's a good transitional tool. lol. I hope I didn't put him off. He's really easy to scare away. I haven't talked to him very much lately. And I can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with him sleeping over. Specifically him sleeping right next to me.

I keep thinking about that. Maybe it is odd. For two people to sleep next to each other and not take it a step further. But it's really just shyness. And the fact that we don't exactly like each other romantically. If we did, we'd find a way to beat the shyness. But since I think it's just physical attraction, it isn't really worth pursuing.

But the other day he told me that he touched my butt while I was sleeping, on purpose. lol. We're so innocent.

Yesterday Isis was home but Amelia decided that on our day off she'd whisk Isis away to Boston, to visit her Biological dad. Who is visiting from California. So she spent three hours driving there and three hours there and three hours driving back. All that time I could have spent with the little munchkin.

But that's okay. I've realized that it would get boring hanging out with Isis all day long and that it's nice to see her a few hours a day. Watch her be a happy little monkey. But still have time to myself.

I'm so unmotivated to get a job. I mean, it's like I have to really put an effort into getting one and I don't want to. I want to just do the bare minimum and get the job so that I can make myself go to work. But I'm not really enthusiastic about the idea. But I do need to start having an income. Or rather, I want it. Since I now have freedom, what else is there to do but go out into the world and spend money?

Stay home and make out with your boyfriend? Aha. I forgot I don't have one. What happens when I get a job and a boyfriend but I don't have any time to stay home and make out with him? Well neither of them are looking hopeful at the moment so I guess that isn't a current problem.

I wonder if James and I will stop talking for another ten months. I miss him. I miss him now. I miss him when I think of the past without him and the future without him.

I feel alone.

You know one of the things that bugs me about John leaving me is that I feel discarded because I'm pretty. I feel like he was attracted to me for all the shallow reasons so when it came time to pick between Lyla and I, he knew that everything he liked about me was worthless. And Lyla is the one he loves. I'm just like a distracting toy.

Even if it's not true. That's what goes through my head while I'm feeling sorry for myself.

At least I got my proportions fixed.

Well now that's interesting... today is Jeremiah's birthday. I mean, I knew that it was his birthday some time soon because of myspace but I didn't pay attention to the date until today. And today I had a dream about him.